BACK TO SCHOOL EUPHORIA

Stay-at-home dad excited for start of school

By Gregg Weinlein, Commentary
Published 3:14 pm, Saturday, September 5, 2015

I retired after a 35-year career in education. After such a lengthy career, I never thought to hire a career counselor for the next phase of my life. Big mistake, the extent of which I realized after I traded positions with my wife. Our Stay-at-Home-Mom went back to work and I became the Stay-at-Home-Dad.

Why didn't someone give me a job description? My classroom was much more peaceful than spending all day with our two children during the summer.

I'm exhausted driving Bryel and Beckett around the Capital Region to soccer events, the mall, the movies, singing lessons, the orthodontist (time to refinance the home), play rehearsal, pick up this friend, drop off that friend, their uncle's pool, Friendly's or Panera for lunch, ValleyCat games, the soft ice cream shop, Saratoga, doctor appointments, the library, the Y. Destinations are endless.
No one told me the duties of being a Stay-at-Home-Dad also included being a full-time cabdriver. I just placed an order for new business cards: Daddy Uber — Driver Extraordinaire.
In some ways, I even feel like an escort service for the kids, bringing them to concerts where I hope my friends don't recognize me. There I was walking Bryel and Beckett up the steps to the TU Center for the Ariana Grande concert. Going to SPAC for Five Seconds of Summer. Sitting in the fourth row at the Palace Theatre watching the barely dressed girls of Fifth Harmony dance like strippers and thinking I took the wrong turn somewhere and ended up at DiCarlo's exotic dance club.
But I did get to take the kids to their first U2 concert. And they did get to meet a dear friend of my mine from Ireland at the sold-out event. That evening was a special memory for me, although diminished, and put into pre-teen perspective, by my son on the train ride home:
"So what did you think of the concert, Beckett?" I asked. He lifted his eyes up from the photos on the phone and answered, "The show was awesome, Dad ... but U2 is still an old people band."
The "Stay-at-Home" title of my new career is really a misnomer. We are never at home. Maybe the title was appropriate during the years their mom stayed home. Bryel and Beckett were young children. When I'm stressed out from refereeing their lightweight fights, I angrily imagine my children in their younger years sitting quietly on the sofa watching Dora or Curious George while Stay-at-Home Mom sips coffee and casually reads the Times Union.
If you think I'm whining like a tired victim of parenthood, you're right. If you think my Stay-at-Home Dad retirement plan backfired on me, you're right again.
But the desperately needed elixir for all Stay-at-Home parents is on its way. With dreamy eyes we note the delivery date on our calendars. A few fathers like me, and many moms, talk about the relief that will soon arrive. As August disappeared and our smiles broadened, we grew more relaxed in our anticipation. Our conversations are infused with an ethereal sense of escape. The soon to arrive natural high is a precious thought. The days are counted down.
In the supermarkets, in classroom supply stores, in clothing stores, we excitedly utter our magical phrase to each other. Guilt-free, and supportive, we remind each other that soon we will be saved by the reality of the kids going back to school. Talk about a phrase with intoxicating powers: Back to school.
For each of my 35 years as a teacher, I dreaded the first day of school after summer vacation. Now I can't wait for school to begin.
The anxiety for that first day to arrive can overwhelm Stay-At-Home parents. But we will survive these last days of summer knowing 10 months of relief are in sight. I will even endure the smile on my wife's face as she backs out of the driveway and heads off to work. I know her smile is really a smirk, reminding me it was my choice to retire. She waves goodbye and I swear she whispers the words, "Pay. Back." Of course Bryel and Beckett are at my side, mentally organizing their lesson plan for the day's chaos.
But this Stay-at-Home Dad is counting the days. Actually, I'm counting the minutes.
Gregg Weinlein, of East Greenbushm is a writer and former teacher. greggw97@aol.com